dsm911's top 10 songs to pump him before and during a triathlon (and reasons why)

This week, the reader is extremely lucky, as dsm911 has provided what was previously very secretive, his list of his top 10 songs to get him pumped up and ready to rock a triathlon. He's also provided some insight into why each of these songs made the top 10 list. I can't believe I don't charge for this stuff.

10. Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar

Well, the reason (remember, this is dsm911's reasons and his list, not mine, nothing to do with me writing the list for him, carry on) this song made it on the list is quite obvious. I love triathlons, and each event is a mini-battle. I sort of feel like Mel Gibson in Braveheart as soon as that gun goes off. My hands are like swords thrashing through the water. I'm not afraid to swim over, hell, right through people. I usually win this first battle, but hey, I'm a chiseled dude, what do you expect. Next, is the bike. Just look at some of the pictures from the Okoboji Tri, semis draft off of me. I think Lincoln Hawk was driving one of them. Next is the run. Skinny running punks, good luck trying to run past me. How's my forearm taste?

9. Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Don't even try talking to me before a race. I'm serious and in the zone.

8. Rhinestone Cowboy by Glen Campbell.

This is my cellphone alarm. Gets me in the right mood from the get-go.

7. Blame it on the Rain by Milli Vanilli

Morvan and Pilatus were wrongly denied of their greatness. This sort of injustice gets me fired up and ready to race. Sometimes when I'm passing someone on the bike I'll bark at them.

6. Love Game by Lady Gaga (or whatever it's called when she sings about riding a disco stick)

After I get out of the water, I like to pretend my bike's a disco stick and I sing "let's have some fun, this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick don't think too much, just bust that kick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick." Then I hop on and take a ride on my disco stick and pass people. Again, sometimes I'll bark at them when I pass.

5. Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners

Everyone comes to that point in a race when they need to dig deep and put forth every ounce of energy to carry on. Whenever that happens, I always start busting out this song. At Okoboji this year, I actually had this moment twice. The first was at breakfast and burrito and I had a lovely duet just before I finished my eggs benedict.

4. Pony by Ginuwine

To be honest, these lyrics are in my head from the moment I enter the water to when I get on my bike. Of course, then I have to sing about my disco stick.

3. The Sign by Ace of Base

Obviously, when you're getting your transition set up, there's time to chat with your fellow competitors. I usually ignore and despise this goodwill (see song no. 9), but every once in a while there's a fellow Basehead in the group. I will make an exception and talk about life as a roadie for one of the greatest bands since Milli Vanilli.

2. Another Saturday Night by Sam Cooke

Well, the Okoboji Tri is on a saturday, so what better way than to think of the evening at Captains? Ok, the truth will come out. This one is FGLB's choice. I haven't even heard of this Sam Cooke guy. I only listen to real artists such as Ace of Base.

1. Your so Vain by Carly Simon

Not sure there's anything greater than being honored as the subject of a tune. Thanks Carly, and what better way to finish of a tri than with this tune?

Well, thanks for that list dsm911. Proud to have you as a member of the team, especially since you're the only one who mastered the Aquaskipper. I actually am a bit surprised by your choices, and the Carly Simon one is kind of lame, but then again, you did insist on only going out to eat at places where you were allowed to take your shirt off.