A New Favorite
5 months ago
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thoughts
Cute, issues, funny, problems with society, completely innocent, or WTF...thoughts on this video
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Solid weekend
Here's a pretty sweet pic. of the family (I was deemed not good looking enough to be in this photo by 3-1. Thanks Mom).Woke up fairly early on Sat. Was going to go to a group spin, but had to hit the office for a couple hours. After that, I met up with my friend Abby for some Mexican food for lunch. Abby was in from Hotlanta. Her and her husband are moving back to Des Moines soon and had a little house hunting to do. Great to see her and eat my weight in burrito's and taco's. Went back and took a solid nap for about an hour. Then beRock came over and we did a sick bike workout on the trainer. Two hours of complete insanity and sweat. Legs were gone. After the workout, we, including Scotty went to Nick's for some beers and food. There, we had the fantastic opportunity to be told by the bartender how sweet he was in numerous aspects of life. I think I got in nine words during dinner, two of which were "another beer." Called it a night fairly early, which was nice.
Sunday, slept in really late, especially for me. Did some cleaning, a little work and got in an 8.16 mile run on the treadmill. I would've run outside, except for the ridiculous wind and -1 temp. Not a big fan of treadmills, but oh well, thank the lord for Ipods. Two great workouts this weekend.
In addition, I downloaded "Heaven" by Warrant and "Southern Cross" by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Pretty solid. Looking forward to heading home for a couple days to celebrate Christmas.
Friday, December 19, 2008
My answers to unexplained questions
To the Warrior, ask and you shall receive. This was taken from http://www.slate.com/id/2206835/?GT1=38001
The Explainer's Unanswered Questions From 2008
• What is the most disloyal dog breed?
The Labradoodle. How can you be loyal when you can't figure out what kind of dog you're supposed to be on your own. The Labradoodle will spend entirely too much time going back and forth between a completely awesome and adventurous lab to a weenie, milk saucer drinking cat-dog. The poor thing will be so messed up that there will be no loyalty at all involved. The moment where the loyalty would come in (with the lab half, of course) will soon be taken away by the need to find a litter box.
• Why does some music make you want to shake your butt?
Two reasons. First of all, is women like to dance. Regardless of how terrible the song is, as long as there's music, they will shake their butt. This is especially true if it's the new hit song. The drinks will be put down, arms raised with a loud squeaky shriek of "I love this song" (even though said song will soon be disliked because of overplayment on the radio). Now, men will know for the most part, they have no chance if they don't go try and dance with said ladies. So, they in turn have to go shake their butt. The difference is, the men will take their drinks, because they know they can't dance therefore, they have to utilize the "I'm dancing, but can't really bust out all my moves because I have to take a drink know." I've been there (even though I've got sweet moves), where you simply start bending the knees, dropping the shoulders and come up, not realizing what the next move is, so what the hell, I'm thirsty, I need a drink of my beer.
The second reason is simple, who likes to sit still when there's something else to do. When Fantastic Voyage by Coolio comes on (or you have it on repeat), how many of you can avoid sliding back and forth..."slide, slide, slippity slide don't you say sh** just get inside."
• Could you please explain why it is that squirrels are capable of such amazing athletic feats? What is it about their brains and, to a lesser degree, their bodies that allows it? I watch them at my house and have seen some amazing things.
I have not looked this up, but my sesne is that squirrels either have no brains or very small brains not allowing them to decipher the situation at hand. We would all be capable of much more incredible feats if we had no apprehension to the perils that lie ahead. Instead of thinking, hmmm, should I jump off this roof or climb down the ladder and eat a piece of cake and watch The Jefferson's. Most of us will go eat cake. This leads me to point 2. Nuts are good for you and we are encouraged to eat them, i.e., legumes. Squirrels eat plenty of these and have to fight for them, sort of squirrel Darwinism. On the other hand, there is plenty of cake to go around for us. If we had to fight for each lettuce sandwich (note not cake), we would be capable of much more amazing athletic feats. Also, I think it's easier to "fly" when your'e not carrying around 200 pounds.
• Why do women like soup? Is it for perceived health benefits? Is it because it's a quasi-comfort food?
I think they like soup because it warms them up. Women like this feeling, whereas men can be cold-hearted bastards that don't care for warmth. Not that no one on the Boji Tri Team is lumped into this generalization. Also, I like cheeseburger soup and chicken tortilla soup.
• Is it just me, or do all national anthems the world over, no matter how rich and exotic the culture, seem to sound like European marching-band music? Wouldn't one expect China's national anthem be more "plinky"? Shouldn't Iraq's national anthem sound a little more "Arab-y"?
Yes, this is just "you." What a dumb question and I have already wasted too much time on it. Maybe try watching "I'm smarter than a fifth grader" or whatever it's called. This should make you not want to ask anymore questions, put down Us Weekly and read a newspaper.
• I am an 11-year-old boy and girls in my class harass me constantly and I want to file a restraining order against one of them. Is that possible?
Yes, you can try. Whether or not it's successful, not sure. Could it be an 18 year old girl pretending she's an 11 year old? Even if you could, are you willing to be "that guy?" Are you willing to be the social outcast in high school? Also, ever thought it may, just may be possible that these girls actually like you? Good Lord, I'm answering these questions as well as giving life advice. Seriously dude, buy them some of those candy shaped hearts that say "will you be mine?" They will still keep harassing you, however, you will actually realize that you really like this.
• It is a common baseball prank to give someone a cream pie in the face during a TV interview. Where do these cream pies come from? Do baseball teams keep cream pies in the dugout?
Yes, this is totally common. This derived from the early stages of the game when Babe Ruth played. Both before and after each game, the Babe had a buffet of every good imaginable at his disposal. This included cream pies. Prior to a game against the Red Sox, one of his teammates tried to take a cream pie. This infuriated the Babe, he took it back and mashed it in his teammates face. Everyone laughed and had a smoke (couture back then). Since everyone wanted to be like the Babe, word spread quickly.
More on point, cream pies come from various kitchens and bakery's throughout the world. I can't recall the rule, but teams are required to carry two cream pies in the dugout for every player over 250 pounds. This was thought to be a hold-up in the CC Sabathia trade, but ended up being ok.
• Why don't humans have a mating season?
Because you don't call life a season.
• When and why did the Communist Chinese change the name of their capital "PEKING" to Bazging? Sorry, I don't know how it is spelled. Thank you.
I'm not sure the exact date, but I think it has to do with those posionous frogs.
• My toaster identifies which of the two slots should be used for making a single slice of toast. Why does it make a difference which slot I use?
It doesn't. This is just a simple ploy to begin programming everyone's minds. This relates to the squirrel question, do you think a squirrel would follow this...no way. I suppose you don't drink milk past the freshness date or swim in the water when it's colder than 75 degrees. Stop being such a pansy.
• If one gets a personal e-mail from a very famous or important person, such as the president, or the queen of England, or the Pope, or Paul McCartney, can that e-mail have monetary value? I guess not. It's just an electronic transmission on a screen. There's no original. There's no way to buy or sell it. Seems a shame tho.
Yes, this can have monetary value, depending on if someone buys it from you. What a dumb question. If I give someone 50 cents to drink a beer, does drinking that beer have monetary value? Of course it does. If your question would have been, "does, this have monetary value" it would have been more difficult to answer. Not for me though, I'm a genious. But by asking "can" it have monetary value, of course it can.
• Does indoor tanning hurt your t--- if you have had a breast silicone implant put in for over 30 years?
I'm assuming the rest of the letters are "its." Could be teeth, taint, tush, tongue, but we'll assume for now. Yes, indoor tanning does hurt these. Unless your are extremely attractive, then, nothing could in no way shape or form harm those badboys. Carry on.
• Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss" (well, me and everyone else)?
In all likelihood, it's because you are the boss of something. When you can't get the tv turned on, you probably say, "turn on you son of a ...." In this instance, you are the boss and are showing or at least trying to show the tv who's boss. When you order your sandwhich, you are telling the deli or food cart guy what to do, i.e., you are bossing them around.
• I live in Washington, D.C., and we have very long escalators coming out of the Metro. If I grabbed the handrail when I first step onto the escalator and did not let go until I was at the top, my body would be almost prostrate across the steps. As I go higher on the escalator, I have to readjust the hand that is grabbing the rubber handrail. Why can't the companies that make escalators sync the steps and the handrails so that they go the same speed?
Cost. If no one really cares, why should they spend more money on something. Check that, one person care and the company doesn't care about that person, you. In addition, some people might not like the change. I suggest you quit being such an arrogant and selfish a-hole and realize there's other people in the world besides yourself.
• If you were on a boat, what signs do sharks give if they are hungry and will attack versus if they just want to swim around the boat?
One answer, take a bunch of baitfish, cut it up, add extra blood, tie the sack of baitfish around your ankle. If the shars aren't hungry and/or don't want to attack, they will just swim around the boat. If they are hungry and/or want to attack, you will also find out. Also, for this test, I would suggest having the individual with the best health insurance coverage be the "go to guy."
• How did early man deal with growing toe and fingernails?
They cut them. Hard to believe it, but yes, there were things at their disposal that had capabilities of cutting toe and fingernails. At the very least, they could bite their fingernails and possibly toenails if they were a. flexible and b. gross, however, something tells me hygiene wasn't priority no. 1.
• If someone with DNA from the Stone Age were born today, would they be normal?
Well let's see, are people that spend all day playing computer games normal? Are people that dress in all black and cover their faces in white make-up, every day normal? Are people that put steriods in their rear end with needles normal? Are people that won't vote for a President because of his skin color normal? Are people that won't vote for a Presidential candidate because of her gender normal? How can you possibly answer this question when there's no definition of normal, at least one that's workable. I would note that the Geico cavemen have made it into the realm of Halloween costumes where everyone (at least most people), know what they are. Maybe this should be the definition of normal, do you recognize what the person is supposed to be in a Halloween costume. If using this definition, yes, someone with DNA from the Stone Age is normal.
• I have been accused of assault in Ohio. The woman fell over a box in the hall backward, and my brother opened the door, saw her lying there, and started hitting me. I got him down and held him down. It was all over a fight concerning my niece. What do you think will happen?
Where were you when the women fell and what did you do, i.e., did you push the women down and she fell over the box? Did the women accuse you of assault or your brother. If you were at Casey's buying a slice of pizza and the building with the hallway was next door and you heard a women scream, came to help her and then your brother opened the door...after your brother opened the door, he starting punching you and you reacted in self defense, then I would say you will be fine, as long as you don't have the stuttering lawyer in "My Cousin Vinny." If you pushed the women over, stepped on her face and then as soon as your brother opened the door, you kicked him in the eye, then you are screwed.
• I wonder what's going on with Obama's eyes. When he made his keynote address to the Democratic Convention in 2004, I noticed his eyes had a bit of a pretty eyes makeup look. I concluded that it was just the makeup they put on him for the TV cameras. But then yesterday on TV I saw some older footage of Obama and again his eyes had that same pretty look. This was before he was nationally known. I looked carefully and I think that look comes from having long eyelashes. I mentioned this to some other people and they noticed it too. But so then where did those long eyelashes go? Maybe eyelashes get shorter with age. Do they? BUT also I'm wondering if Obama has had his eyelashes shortened. If he has had them shortened, I think that's an excellent idea. Because that long lashes pretty eyes look actually doesn't look so good on a man. At least not if he's running for president.
He has not changed his eyelashes. When you saw the long eyelashes, you were sober and watching HD. The other times, you were drinking the sauce and watching a tv with rabbit ears.
• During this weekend's football playoff game in Green Bay, the temperature at kickoff was 0 degrees, and by the end of the game was -4 degrees. When players get injured in such weather, do they bother putting ice on the injury? Wouldn't that warm up the injury to 32 degrees?
No, the temperature of ice is not 32 degrees, especially in weather that cold. I'm guessing you've never actually played football or went to school.
• Burma's dictator has a chestful of b------- medals. What's up with that, Explainer?
The dictator has the ability to give himself medals, whether they be military, connect4 or the local 5k participant medals. Who's going to question the dictator. If I was dictator of Burma, I would probably have 9 girlfriends, 7 medals and a plethora of pinatas.
• If there is so much oil in the Middle East, could one missile (such as the ones used to penetrate bunkers and caves) explode deep underground and hypothetically blow up a few countries?
No.
• How can personal coaches justify coaching athletes who are much better than they ever were?
If they know so much about how to win, why aren't they competing?
First of all, see the squirrel question. Amazing how that one question reveals so many of life's answers. Some people are just inherently more athletic than others, yet they know how to get to the end result. If I had a team of myself (genious) and Stephen Hawking, admittedly more of a genious and our goal was to answer a question but we had to run 500 yards to answer the question (note, it would take Mr. Hawking 5 minutes to get 500 yards while 10 seconds to answer the question...me, 1 minute to run 500 yards and 1 minute to answer the question) I am admittedly better at this than Mr. Hawking. However, he could coach me how to answer the question better. That was a big time ramble, but you get the point.
• Can men eat the Activia yogurt that is advertised exclusively to the modern woman in khakis? Will it have the same internal regulatory effects on the male system that are promised for the female bowels? If not, why not?
dsm911 tried this exact experiment and it was inconclusive, because he has part female bowels, which have enable him to make a swim workout with me in the last two months. Yes, anything advertised to the modern woman in khakis is going to have negative effects on one's manhood. Leave this alone.
• Can an average person not in politics get a pardon from the president of the United States? (Possession of forged instrument, October of 1989.)
Yes, as long as by average, you mean you somehow contributed singificant financial gifts to said president or organization supporting said president. In addition, if you are really good looking (again, if average means really good looking), this enhances your chance. Thus, the average person can, but not likely.
• Is the stomach normally full of air like a balloon, or is it squeezed flat by the other organs, like a balloon with no air that spreads open as food and water come in? Are the other organs squeezed and compressed like a squeezed sponge, or are they like a sponge not being squeezed? What about the intestines? Are they squeezed flat normally, or are they open like one of those long balloons that magicians make animals out of? I'm trying to get a picture in my mind what the inside of the body normally looks like.
Way, way too many questions. Watch that high school video, "Joe's stomach" or whatever it's called.
• Please explain the method of formation and origin of black holes. Are they located at the Bermuda Triangle area and why there?
Black holes are not located at the Bermuda Triangle. The Bermuda Triangle is where the Somalian Pirates have their hideout and where they take their booty after looting cruise ships. Black holes are formed in outer space. The cause of these are not exactly known, but gravitation and nuclear fusion of massive stars are a good place to start.
• Who made up the rule that if you wore a shirt all day, went home, and washed it, you can't wear it the next day?
Samantha from "Who's the Boss."
• I live in Chicago, where taxi drivers are constantly talking on their phones. To whom are they talking?
They are talking to their bookies and Wayne Newton.
• Why do cockroaches flip over on their backsides when they die? I sprayed RAID into a hole in my wall the other day, and by the next morning I found six cockroaches laid out on my floor, all flipped over and all very dead!
They are trying to get one last piece of action.
• Why do the women gymnasts walk around between events with that goofy arm-swing gait?
Intimidation. If you were a 8 year old Chinese Olympian gymnast, you do not look very tough. It's all about getting in the other team's mind.
• I am 79 years old. I bring this up first to help explain my question. In the late 1930s or early 1940s, I was looking through an old stack of Life magazines, and there was a picture of an old couple sitting on the porch of a cabin (or shack) up in the mountains somewhere in Appalachia, with the notation: "The King and Queen of America?" The small article with the picture stated that if George Washington had become king of the U.S., these two would (under the usual custom) be our king and queen. I have thought of this from time to time, even doubted it. (It might have been part of the propaganda of the time, the Depression years, that we were all equal, etc.) I am dimly aware that George Washington had brothers, and that it is possible that the descent is known. As I remember, it was a lovely picture, the old couple looking out over a valley, with mist, and smoking their corncob pipes. Can you find the picture? Can you tell me whether there was truth in the assertion?
I could, if it existed but I have no interest in trying. Thanks for wasting 39 seconds of my life.
• Why are pandas names doubled? Ling Ling, Tuan Tuan, Yuan Yuan.
It makes for a better rap song. Would a Lil Wayne song be interesting if it went "Everytime I come around here Ling" instead of "Everytimg I come around her Ling Ling?"
• Are the frequently used "jaws of life" really necessary or just big-boy toys for rescuers?
Extremely necessary. What else would you use to tear apart car doors.
• How long can humans live when they are caught on fire? For example, when a car crashes and explodes turns into a gulf of flames, but humans are alive.
13 minutes 48 seconds. I have no idea, since each person is different. Someone who just celebrated their 103rd birthday will succumb more quickly than Lebron James.
• Hi, I am Anna. I am only 11 years old! My friend told me about this black hole, and I have gotten really scared. I don't want to die! I thought if it didn't happen today, it wasn't going to happen. I did not know nothing about it happening in Spring! I find it unfair that scientists are making a machine that could possibly destroy the entire human race. Me and my friends have cried about the black hole, and I find it really upsetting. There has been barely nothing about it on the news. I am so nervous. I just think I am too young to die—is there any way we could stop it happening?
Hi Anna, thanks for your question. I would recommend staying in your house, never going outside and constantly text LOL to your friends. Every once in a while, mix it up with ROTFLMAO.
*This took quite a while and the views of the author are not to be taken seriously, especially the shark test above. Also, I am not proofreading this, so I apologize for any spelling errors.
The Explainer's Unanswered Questions From 2008
• What is the most disloyal dog breed?
The Labradoodle. How can you be loyal when you can't figure out what kind of dog you're supposed to be on your own. The Labradoodle will spend entirely too much time going back and forth between a completely awesome and adventurous lab to a weenie, milk saucer drinking cat-dog. The poor thing will be so messed up that there will be no loyalty at all involved. The moment where the loyalty would come in (with the lab half, of course) will soon be taken away by the need to find a litter box.
• Why does some music make you want to shake your butt?
Two reasons. First of all, is women like to dance. Regardless of how terrible the song is, as long as there's music, they will shake their butt. This is especially true if it's the new hit song. The drinks will be put down, arms raised with a loud squeaky shriek of "I love this song" (even though said song will soon be disliked because of overplayment on the radio). Now, men will know for the most part, they have no chance if they don't go try and dance with said ladies. So, they in turn have to go shake their butt. The difference is, the men will take their drinks, because they know they can't dance therefore, they have to utilize the "I'm dancing, but can't really bust out all my moves because I have to take a drink know." I've been there (even though I've got sweet moves), where you simply start bending the knees, dropping the shoulders and come up, not realizing what the next move is, so what the hell, I'm thirsty, I need a drink of my beer.
The second reason is simple, who likes to sit still when there's something else to do. When Fantastic Voyage by Coolio comes on (or you have it on repeat), how many of you can avoid sliding back and forth..."slide, slide, slippity slide don't you say sh** just get inside."
• Could you please explain why it is that squirrels are capable of such amazing athletic feats? What is it about their brains and, to a lesser degree, their bodies that allows it? I watch them at my house and have seen some amazing things.
I have not looked this up, but my sesne is that squirrels either have no brains or very small brains not allowing them to decipher the situation at hand. We would all be capable of much more incredible feats if we had no apprehension to the perils that lie ahead. Instead of thinking, hmmm, should I jump off this roof or climb down the ladder and eat a piece of cake and watch The Jefferson's. Most of us will go eat cake. This leads me to point 2. Nuts are good for you and we are encouraged to eat them, i.e., legumes. Squirrels eat plenty of these and have to fight for them, sort of squirrel Darwinism. On the other hand, there is plenty of cake to go around for us. If we had to fight for each lettuce sandwich (note not cake), we would be capable of much more amazing athletic feats. Also, I think it's easier to "fly" when your'e not carrying around 200 pounds.
• Why do women like soup? Is it for perceived health benefits? Is it because it's a quasi-comfort food?
I think they like soup because it warms them up. Women like this feeling, whereas men can be cold-hearted bastards that don't care for warmth. Not that no one on the Boji Tri Team is lumped into this generalization. Also, I like cheeseburger soup and chicken tortilla soup.
• Is it just me, or do all national anthems the world over, no matter how rich and exotic the culture, seem to sound like European marching-band music? Wouldn't one expect China's national anthem be more "plinky"? Shouldn't Iraq's national anthem sound a little more "Arab-y"?
Yes, this is just "you." What a dumb question and I have already wasted too much time on it. Maybe try watching "I'm smarter than a fifth grader" or whatever it's called. This should make you not want to ask anymore questions, put down Us Weekly and read a newspaper.
• I am an 11-year-old boy and girls in my class harass me constantly and I want to file a restraining order against one of them. Is that possible?
Yes, you can try. Whether or not it's successful, not sure. Could it be an 18 year old girl pretending she's an 11 year old? Even if you could, are you willing to be "that guy?" Are you willing to be the social outcast in high school? Also, ever thought it may, just may be possible that these girls actually like you? Good Lord, I'm answering these questions as well as giving life advice. Seriously dude, buy them some of those candy shaped hearts that say "will you be mine?" They will still keep harassing you, however, you will actually realize that you really like this.
• It is a common baseball prank to give someone a cream pie in the face during a TV interview. Where do these cream pies come from? Do baseball teams keep cream pies in the dugout?
Yes, this is totally common. This derived from the early stages of the game when Babe Ruth played. Both before and after each game, the Babe had a buffet of every good imaginable at his disposal. This included cream pies. Prior to a game against the Red Sox, one of his teammates tried to take a cream pie. This infuriated the Babe, he took it back and mashed it in his teammates face. Everyone laughed and had a smoke (couture back then). Since everyone wanted to be like the Babe, word spread quickly.
More on point, cream pies come from various kitchens and bakery's throughout the world. I can't recall the rule, but teams are required to carry two cream pies in the dugout for every player over 250 pounds. This was thought to be a hold-up in the CC Sabathia trade, but ended up being ok.
• Why don't humans have a mating season?
Because you don't call life a season.
• When and why did the Communist Chinese change the name of their capital "PEKING" to Bazging? Sorry, I don't know how it is spelled. Thank you.
I'm not sure the exact date, but I think it has to do with those posionous frogs.
• My toaster identifies which of the two slots should be used for making a single slice of toast. Why does it make a difference which slot I use?
It doesn't. This is just a simple ploy to begin programming everyone's minds. This relates to the squirrel question, do you think a squirrel would follow this...no way. I suppose you don't drink milk past the freshness date or swim in the water when it's colder than 75 degrees. Stop being such a pansy.
• If one gets a personal e-mail from a very famous or important person, such as the president, or the queen of England, or the Pope, or Paul McCartney, can that e-mail have monetary value? I guess not. It's just an electronic transmission on a screen. There's no original. There's no way to buy or sell it. Seems a shame tho.
Yes, this can have monetary value, depending on if someone buys it from you. What a dumb question. If I give someone 50 cents to drink a beer, does drinking that beer have monetary value? Of course it does. If your question would have been, "does, this have monetary value" it would have been more difficult to answer. Not for me though, I'm a genious. But by asking "can" it have monetary value, of course it can.
• Does indoor tanning hurt your t--- if you have had a breast silicone implant put in for over 30 years?
I'm assuming the rest of the letters are "its." Could be teeth, taint, tush, tongue, but we'll assume for now. Yes, indoor tanning does hurt these. Unless your are extremely attractive, then, nothing could in no way shape or form harm those badboys. Carry on.
• Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss" (well, me and everyone else)?
In all likelihood, it's because you are the boss of something. When you can't get the tv turned on, you probably say, "turn on you son of a ...." In this instance, you are the boss and are showing or at least trying to show the tv who's boss. When you order your sandwhich, you are telling the deli or food cart guy what to do, i.e., you are bossing them around.
• I live in Washington, D.C., and we have very long escalators coming out of the Metro. If I grabbed the handrail when I first step onto the escalator and did not let go until I was at the top, my body would be almost prostrate across the steps. As I go higher on the escalator, I have to readjust the hand that is grabbing the rubber handrail. Why can't the companies that make escalators sync the steps and the handrails so that they go the same speed?
Cost. If no one really cares, why should they spend more money on something. Check that, one person care and the company doesn't care about that person, you. In addition, some people might not like the change. I suggest you quit being such an arrogant and selfish a-hole and realize there's other people in the world besides yourself.
• If you were on a boat, what signs do sharks give if they are hungry and will attack versus if they just want to swim around the boat?
One answer, take a bunch of baitfish, cut it up, add extra blood, tie the sack of baitfish around your ankle. If the shars aren't hungry and/or don't want to attack, they will just swim around the boat. If they are hungry and/or want to attack, you will also find out. Also, for this test, I would suggest having the individual with the best health insurance coverage be the "go to guy."
• How did early man deal with growing toe and fingernails?
They cut them. Hard to believe it, but yes, there were things at their disposal that had capabilities of cutting toe and fingernails. At the very least, they could bite their fingernails and possibly toenails if they were a. flexible and b. gross, however, something tells me hygiene wasn't priority no. 1.
• If someone with DNA from the Stone Age were born today, would they be normal?
Well let's see, are people that spend all day playing computer games normal? Are people that dress in all black and cover their faces in white make-up, every day normal? Are people that put steriods in their rear end with needles normal? Are people that won't vote for a President because of his skin color normal? Are people that won't vote for a Presidential candidate because of her gender normal? How can you possibly answer this question when there's no definition of normal, at least one that's workable. I would note that the Geico cavemen have made it into the realm of Halloween costumes where everyone (at least most people), know what they are. Maybe this should be the definition of normal, do you recognize what the person is supposed to be in a Halloween costume. If using this definition, yes, someone with DNA from the Stone Age is normal.
• I have been accused of assault in Ohio. The woman fell over a box in the hall backward, and my brother opened the door, saw her lying there, and started hitting me. I got him down and held him down. It was all over a fight concerning my niece. What do you think will happen?
Where were you when the women fell and what did you do, i.e., did you push the women down and she fell over the box? Did the women accuse you of assault or your brother. If you were at Casey's buying a slice of pizza and the building with the hallway was next door and you heard a women scream, came to help her and then your brother opened the door...after your brother opened the door, he starting punching you and you reacted in self defense, then I would say you will be fine, as long as you don't have the stuttering lawyer in "My Cousin Vinny." If you pushed the women over, stepped on her face and then as soon as your brother opened the door, you kicked him in the eye, then you are screwed.
• I wonder what's going on with Obama's eyes. When he made his keynote address to the Democratic Convention in 2004, I noticed his eyes had a bit of a pretty eyes makeup look. I concluded that it was just the makeup they put on him for the TV cameras. But then yesterday on TV I saw some older footage of Obama and again his eyes had that same pretty look. This was before he was nationally known. I looked carefully and I think that look comes from having long eyelashes. I mentioned this to some other people and they noticed it too. But so then where did those long eyelashes go? Maybe eyelashes get shorter with age. Do they? BUT also I'm wondering if Obama has had his eyelashes shortened. If he has had them shortened, I think that's an excellent idea. Because that long lashes pretty eyes look actually doesn't look so good on a man. At least not if he's running for president.
He has not changed his eyelashes. When you saw the long eyelashes, you were sober and watching HD. The other times, you were drinking the sauce and watching a tv with rabbit ears.
• During this weekend's football playoff game in Green Bay, the temperature at kickoff was 0 degrees, and by the end of the game was -4 degrees. When players get injured in such weather, do they bother putting ice on the injury? Wouldn't that warm up the injury to 32 degrees?
No, the temperature of ice is not 32 degrees, especially in weather that cold. I'm guessing you've never actually played football or went to school.
• Burma's dictator has a chestful of b------- medals. What's up with that, Explainer?
The dictator has the ability to give himself medals, whether they be military, connect4 or the local 5k participant medals. Who's going to question the dictator. If I was dictator of Burma, I would probably have 9 girlfriends, 7 medals and a plethora of pinatas.
• If there is so much oil in the Middle East, could one missile (such as the ones used to penetrate bunkers and caves) explode deep underground and hypothetically blow up a few countries?
No.
• How can personal coaches justify coaching athletes who are much better than they ever were?
If they know so much about how to win, why aren't they competing?
First of all, see the squirrel question. Amazing how that one question reveals so many of life's answers. Some people are just inherently more athletic than others, yet they know how to get to the end result. If I had a team of myself (genious) and Stephen Hawking, admittedly more of a genious and our goal was to answer a question but we had to run 500 yards to answer the question (note, it would take Mr. Hawking 5 minutes to get 500 yards while 10 seconds to answer the question...me, 1 minute to run 500 yards and 1 minute to answer the question) I am admittedly better at this than Mr. Hawking. However, he could coach me how to answer the question better. That was a big time ramble, but you get the point.
• Can men eat the Activia yogurt that is advertised exclusively to the modern woman in khakis? Will it have the same internal regulatory effects on the male system that are promised for the female bowels? If not, why not?
dsm911 tried this exact experiment and it was inconclusive, because he has part female bowels, which have enable him to make a swim workout with me in the last two months. Yes, anything advertised to the modern woman in khakis is going to have negative effects on one's manhood. Leave this alone.
• Can an average person not in politics get a pardon from the president of the United States? (Possession of forged instrument, October of 1989.)
Yes, as long as by average, you mean you somehow contributed singificant financial gifts to said president or organization supporting said president. In addition, if you are really good looking (again, if average means really good looking), this enhances your chance. Thus, the average person can, but not likely.
• Is the stomach normally full of air like a balloon, or is it squeezed flat by the other organs, like a balloon with no air that spreads open as food and water come in? Are the other organs squeezed and compressed like a squeezed sponge, or are they like a sponge not being squeezed? What about the intestines? Are they squeezed flat normally, or are they open like one of those long balloons that magicians make animals out of? I'm trying to get a picture in my mind what the inside of the body normally looks like.
Way, way too many questions. Watch that high school video, "Joe's stomach" or whatever it's called.
• Please explain the method of formation and origin of black holes. Are they located at the Bermuda Triangle area and why there?
Black holes are not located at the Bermuda Triangle. The Bermuda Triangle is where the Somalian Pirates have their hideout and where they take their booty after looting cruise ships. Black holes are formed in outer space. The cause of these are not exactly known, but gravitation and nuclear fusion of massive stars are a good place to start.
• Who made up the rule that if you wore a shirt all day, went home, and washed it, you can't wear it the next day?
Samantha from "Who's the Boss."
• I live in Chicago, where taxi drivers are constantly talking on their phones. To whom are they talking?
They are talking to their bookies and Wayne Newton.
• Why do cockroaches flip over on their backsides when they die? I sprayed RAID into a hole in my wall the other day, and by the next morning I found six cockroaches laid out on my floor, all flipped over and all very dead!
They are trying to get one last piece of action.
• Why do the women gymnasts walk around between events with that goofy arm-swing gait?
Intimidation. If you were a 8 year old Chinese Olympian gymnast, you do not look very tough. It's all about getting in the other team's mind.
• I am 79 years old. I bring this up first to help explain my question. In the late 1930s or early 1940s, I was looking through an old stack of Life magazines, and there was a picture of an old couple sitting on the porch of a cabin (or shack) up in the mountains somewhere in Appalachia, with the notation: "The King and Queen of America?" The small article with the picture stated that if George Washington had become king of the U.S., these two would (under the usual custom) be our king and queen. I have thought of this from time to time, even doubted it. (It might have been part of the propaganda of the time, the Depression years, that we were all equal, etc.) I am dimly aware that George Washington had brothers, and that it is possible that the descent is known. As I remember, it was a lovely picture, the old couple looking out over a valley, with mist, and smoking their corncob pipes. Can you find the picture? Can you tell me whether there was truth in the assertion?
I could, if it existed but I have no interest in trying. Thanks for wasting 39 seconds of my life.
• Why are pandas names doubled? Ling Ling, Tuan Tuan, Yuan Yuan.
It makes for a better rap song. Would a Lil Wayne song be interesting if it went "Everytime I come around here Ling" instead of "Everytimg I come around her Ling Ling?"
• Are the frequently used "jaws of life" really necessary or just big-boy toys for rescuers?
Extremely necessary. What else would you use to tear apart car doors.
• How long can humans live when they are caught on fire? For example, when a car crashes and explodes turns into a gulf of flames, but humans are alive.
13 minutes 48 seconds. I have no idea, since each person is different. Someone who just celebrated their 103rd birthday will succumb more quickly than Lebron James.
• Hi, I am Anna. I am only 11 years old! My friend told me about this black hole, and I have gotten really scared. I don't want to die! I thought if it didn't happen today, it wasn't going to happen. I did not know nothing about it happening in Spring! I find it unfair that scientists are making a machine that could possibly destroy the entire human race. Me and my friends have cried about the black hole, and I find it really upsetting. There has been barely nothing about it on the news. I am so nervous. I just think I am too young to die—is there any way we could stop it happening?
Hi Anna, thanks for your question. I would recommend staying in your house, never going outside and constantly text LOL to your friends. Every once in a while, mix it up with ROTFLMAO.
*This took quite a while and the views of the author are not to be taken seriously, especially the shark test above. Also, I am not proofreading this, so I apologize for any spelling errors.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
5 things that are completely messed up in today's world
1. Andre Dawson is not in the Hall of Fame. This is completely messed up.
2. I cannot find either of the following...Marshmallow Rice Krispies and Blue Kool-Aide. I pretty much lived on these growing up.
3. The economy is in the total crapper and CC Sabathia is getting roughly $750,000 to pitch each game, with his new contract with the Yankees. God forbid he has a crappy outing and get's yanked after the first inning, not a bad payday for 15 minutes of work.
4. My brother can eat pretty much anything and not gain any weight...and run under 7 minute miles for an entire marathon. I can eat an Oreo Cakester that weight 4 ounces and gain 2 pounds...and get passed by the ladies leaving church, that have been attending since 1921.
5. That I can get on the phone, dial a buddy over in Europe, and have a crystal clear conversation with him. As soon as I say something, he hears it. Seriously, this simply amazes me.
http://heresabunnywithapancakeonitshead.com/
2. I cannot find either of the following...Marshmallow Rice Krispies and Blue Kool-Aide. I pretty much lived on these growing up.
3. The economy is in the total crapper and CC Sabathia is getting roughly $750,000 to pitch each game, with his new contract with the Yankees. God forbid he has a crappy outing and get's yanked after the first inning, not a bad payday for 15 minutes of work.
4. My brother can eat pretty much anything and not gain any weight...and run under 7 minute miles for an entire marathon. I can eat an Oreo Cakester that weight 4 ounces and gain 2 pounds...and get passed by the ladies leaving church, that have been attending since 1921.
5. That I can get on the phone, dial a buddy over in Europe, and have a crystal clear conversation with him. As soon as I say something, he hears it. Seriously, this simply amazes me.
http://heresabunnywithapancakeonitshead.com/
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tagged
So, I got tagged by my friend Abby, and I went to see what I had to do, but I couldn't find it on her blog. I think I'm supposed to write 7 things that people may not know about me, so I'll go with that. I note that these are not going to be fantastic, I don't want to divulge too much.
1. Whenver I'm working or studying, I like to have food (this isn't the part that most people won't know, everyone knows I like to eat). But, I can't stand to eat whatever I have throughout the studying process. I need to eat it all right away and then I can proceed to study. For example, in college, I would always buy packages of Swedish Fish (the big bags). I'd tell myself, this time, I'm going to make the fish last a while. Never happened, I'd start to read, get about 10 words and start to go to town. By the time the package was finished, I'd make it to about page three.
2. I think a perfect job for me would be something similar to what Stephen Colbert does. I think I could do this well, as I've got a pretty dry sense of humor at times and can deadpan pretty well.
3. When I was learning to waterskii, the following people were at fault when I couldn't get up on one skii...my Dad was number one (he didn't give it enough gas, he gave it too much gas, he picked the wrong side of the lake, he let too many people sit in the back of the boat, he let me eat too many sandwhiches for lunch); next would be God or Jesus, since after I blamed my Dad, I'd blame God or Jesus. Next were my friends in the boat, since they didn't distribute their weight properly. After that, the hot ladies that weren't in the boat were at fault, I like to show-off and not for my friends that aren't hot ladies, well them too. Finally was me, but this was only a small percentage.
4. My Mom makes pretty much the best cupcakes ever. I've tried to make these once and failed miserably. In high school, the Thursday before every home football game we went to eat at someone's house. When this was at my house, we watched Predator and amongst other food, there was a ton of cupcakes. We told a couple people that one of the cupcakes had mayo instead of frosting (ala Hostess cupcakes)...and if you found the mayo cupcake you'd win a prize. Idiots ate like ten cupcakes. Note...I eat this many and am not an idiot because I'm not trying to find one with mayo.
5. Many people have problems doing things by themselves, such as eating a meal. I have no problem with this and sometimes enjoy it. This can be whether or not I'm out of town where I don't know anybody, or whether I'm in town. Simply because no one is around is not a reason why I won't do something. That being said, I have yet to go to go somewhere in Iowa and drink by myself (unless you count dsm911 being habitually 7 hours late:) ). I went to a law school visit in North Carolina...by myself. I left my hotel room, found a place to grab a steak and then went to a bar that had a fantastic 80's cover band. I had 3 or 4 beers and it was a great time.
6. A lot of my friends know this, but I'll eat pretty much everything and try anything, as long as it's not mustard, olives, pepperoni, cole slaw or potato salad. There might be a couple more, but I'll eat octopus before I'd eat a tomato and I have. I'll gladly eat snail (I have) before I'd eat a piece of pepperoni. Sometimes, my thoughts with food are way off though. I held off for years from eating cheesecake because I thought it sounded stupid. Seriously, why would something called cheese-cake taste good. My mom kept telling me I'd love it and as usual, she's right.
7. If you're a guy and someone buys you a shot, you should not do any of the following:
a. smell it
b. ask what it is
c. whine about it
-these rules apply if the person that bought the shot is drinking the same thing. Do not apply if you're too drunk to take the shot.
8. (one extra one, because no.7 isn't really about me) When I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, I hung out with Droid a lot (something I continue to do this day). I had a master plan. Hit the town with Droid and the chicks would flock to us. Then I started thinking, wait, if I'm standing next to the guy with muscles everywhere, are chicks going to want to talk to me, at least the hot ones? Good thing I have amazing wit and charm :)
1. Whenver I'm working or studying, I like to have food (this isn't the part that most people won't know, everyone knows I like to eat). But, I can't stand to eat whatever I have throughout the studying process. I need to eat it all right away and then I can proceed to study. For example, in college, I would always buy packages of Swedish Fish (the big bags). I'd tell myself, this time, I'm going to make the fish last a while. Never happened, I'd start to read, get about 10 words and start to go to town. By the time the package was finished, I'd make it to about page three.
2. I think a perfect job for me would be something similar to what Stephen Colbert does. I think I could do this well, as I've got a pretty dry sense of humor at times and can deadpan pretty well.
3. When I was learning to waterskii, the following people were at fault when I couldn't get up on one skii...my Dad was number one (he didn't give it enough gas, he gave it too much gas, he picked the wrong side of the lake, he let too many people sit in the back of the boat, he let me eat too many sandwhiches for lunch); next would be God or Jesus, since after I blamed my Dad, I'd blame God or Jesus. Next were my friends in the boat, since they didn't distribute their weight properly. After that, the hot ladies that weren't in the boat were at fault, I like to show-off and not for my friends that aren't hot ladies, well them too. Finally was me, but this was only a small percentage.
4. My Mom makes pretty much the best cupcakes ever. I've tried to make these once and failed miserably. In high school, the Thursday before every home football game we went to eat at someone's house. When this was at my house, we watched Predator and amongst other food, there was a ton of cupcakes. We told a couple people that one of the cupcakes had mayo instead of frosting (ala Hostess cupcakes)...and if you found the mayo cupcake you'd win a prize. Idiots ate like ten cupcakes. Note...I eat this many and am not an idiot because I'm not trying to find one with mayo.
5. Many people have problems doing things by themselves, such as eating a meal. I have no problem with this and sometimes enjoy it. This can be whether or not I'm out of town where I don't know anybody, or whether I'm in town. Simply because no one is around is not a reason why I won't do something. That being said, I have yet to go to go somewhere in Iowa and drink by myself (unless you count dsm911 being habitually 7 hours late:) ). I went to a law school visit in North Carolina...by myself. I left my hotel room, found a place to grab a steak and then went to a bar that had a fantastic 80's cover band. I had 3 or 4 beers and it was a great time.
6. A lot of my friends know this, but I'll eat pretty much everything and try anything, as long as it's not mustard, olives, pepperoni, cole slaw or potato salad. There might be a couple more, but I'll eat octopus before I'd eat a tomato and I have. I'll gladly eat snail (I have) before I'd eat a piece of pepperoni. Sometimes, my thoughts with food are way off though. I held off for years from eating cheesecake because I thought it sounded stupid. Seriously, why would something called cheese-cake taste good. My mom kept telling me I'd love it and as usual, she's right.
7. If you're a guy and someone buys you a shot, you should not do any of the following:
a. smell it
b. ask what it is
c. whine about it
-these rules apply if the person that bought the shot is drinking the same thing. Do not apply if you're too drunk to take the shot.
8. (one extra one, because no.7 isn't really about me) When I was a freshman/sophomore in high school, I hung out with Droid a lot (something I continue to do this day). I had a master plan. Hit the town with Droid and the chicks would flock to us. Then I started thinking, wait, if I'm standing next to the guy with muscles everywhere, are chicks going to want to talk to me, at least the hot ones? Good thing I have amazing wit and charm :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Interview with the one and only dsm911
Ladies and Gentleman, I only have 9 minutes to interview dsm911, since he has to go sing Karaoke in a leopard print skinsuit, so I'll try and get as many things covered as I can.
Me: dsm911, what's up man, why are you wearing that and singing karaoke, it's not even noon yet?
dsm911: Just living the dream baby, whether it's in front of three people at Billly Joe's Picture Show or my high school graduation, I come to play.
Me: Whatever.
Me: What do you feel was your greatest accomplishment this past tri season?
dsm911: It's sort of a tie between the Emmetsburg Tri and the Okoboji Tri.
Me: Wow, what such great detail and vivid imagry you provide.
dsm911: Well, if you'd quit interrupting me, I'd be more apt to profess my profound recollection of said events.
dms911: In Emmetsburg, I avoided the blinding scene of the sun-deprived burrito exiting Five-Island Lake. This was key. In Okoboji, I was able to have a five minute conversation on the run with my fellow man about the hypocrisy of the United Nations beliefs towards the anarchy currently imposed on various Third World Countries. You know what I'm talking about.
Me: Good Lord, give me a beer. Who do you think is going to make the biggest impact on the team next year?
dsm911: Wow, great question.
Me: No need to state the obvious. Carry-on.
dsm911: I really feel that it's going to be a tie between Dogman and Burrito. Rumor has it that Dogman's been getting some swimming and spin classes in prior to his Boston training.
Me: Either that or trying to hit on the lifeguard.
dsm911: and Burrito is going to make his long awaited debut, not sure what event, I'm thinking Emmetsburg for him.
Me: Thanks for that I guess. Which of these do you think is more fantastic, prison shanking or cannibalism?
dsm911: Seriously, which is more fantastic? I'd have to say cannibalism. Throughough historical times, cannibalism, in it's purest form, has saved lives and captivated the minds and hearts of many. Whether it be in the Jungles of Papa New Guinea, plane crashes in the Andes or the female praying mantis devouring the male after acts of reproduction, I could go on?
Me: Please don't.
Me: Switching gears, how do you feel about being the second best looking person in this interview.
dsm911: Story of my life man.
Me: Ouch, at least you completed Point to Point...oh wait, that was me, It's Mister to You! and Ironman. Even the Warrior and Burrito where there in spirit.
Me: What do you think you need to improve on for next year?
dsm911: I think my swimming is coming along pretty well but feel that I can still make some improvements to it.
Me: Agree, Virginia is for hustlers. Should Texas be it's own country?
dsm911: Seriously?
Me: What's your favorite movie? Documentaries and shows on public television don't count.
dsm911: Basically anything with Tom Cruise in it. Aside from that, I've been really digging Spice World...Scary Spice in those tight outfit's, dayum.
Me: Did we really just have a "dayum?"
dsm911: Another great flick is P.S. I Love You. Since I'm getting married and all, I've been leaving copies of this movie all over the house. I figure since I'm so good at romancing, this would be golden. In addition, a couple guys in that movie were in a band. I've been in a few bands, lead singer and guitar player, so I feel I've got a real connection with those guys. Also, they're Irish and I'm Irish. Sometimes, when I watch the movie, ok, all the time, I just feel like I'm the same person. I'll sing in my Irish voice and drink pints of Guiness. It's like for one moment, even if just briefly, the problems of the the Irish Catholics and Protestants just drift away, ala Dobie Gray. In a small way, I feel like I'm doing my part for the greater good of humanity.
Me: Yeah, I cooked spaghetti last night, had a baguette, a gyro, a bratwurst and some Sangria, I'm such a supporter of the melting pot that is America. It's like I'm one with Ellis Island.
dsm911: So you know exactly how I feel.
Me: No kidding, whoosh.
dsm911: What was that sound?
Me: Not sure, thought I saw something go right over your head.
Well, I've had enough fun for the morning ladies and gentleman. Nothing like an interview with one of our own to make you want to start drinking early. I'd like to close with a link of dsm911 in action from one of his events this year. Thanks for your time dsm911.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-tCUnhp2bo
Me: dsm911, what's up man, why are you wearing that and singing karaoke, it's not even noon yet?
dsm911: Just living the dream baby, whether it's in front of three people at Billly Joe's Picture Show or my high school graduation, I come to play.
Me: Whatever.
Me: What do you feel was your greatest accomplishment this past tri season?
dsm911: It's sort of a tie between the Emmetsburg Tri and the Okoboji Tri.
Me: Wow, what such great detail and vivid imagry you provide.
dsm911: Well, if you'd quit interrupting me, I'd be more apt to profess my profound recollection of said events.
dms911: In Emmetsburg, I avoided the blinding scene of the sun-deprived burrito exiting Five-Island Lake. This was key. In Okoboji, I was able to have a five minute conversation on the run with my fellow man about the hypocrisy of the United Nations beliefs towards the anarchy currently imposed on various Third World Countries. You know what I'm talking about.
Me: Good Lord, give me a beer. Who do you think is going to make the biggest impact on the team next year?
dsm911: Wow, great question.
Me: No need to state the obvious. Carry-on.
dsm911: I really feel that it's going to be a tie between Dogman and Burrito. Rumor has it that Dogman's been getting some swimming and spin classes in prior to his Boston training.
Me: Either that or trying to hit on the lifeguard.
dsm911: and Burrito is going to make his long awaited debut, not sure what event, I'm thinking Emmetsburg for him.
Me: Thanks for that I guess. Which of these do you think is more fantastic, prison shanking or cannibalism?
dsm911: Seriously, which is more fantastic? I'd have to say cannibalism. Throughough historical times, cannibalism, in it's purest form, has saved lives and captivated the minds and hearts of many. Whether it be in the Jungles of Papa New Guinea, plane crashes in the Andes or the female praying mantis devouring the male after acts of reproduction, I could go on?
Me: Please don't.
Me: Switching gears, how do you feel about being the second best looking person in this interview.
dsm911: Story of my life man.
Me: Ouch, at least you completed Point to Point...oh wait, that was me, It's Mister to You! and Ironman. Even the Warrior and Burrito where there in spirit.
Me: What do you think you need to improve on for next year?
dsm911: I think my swimming is coming along pretty well but feel that I can still make some improvements to it.
Me: Agree, Virginia is for hustlers. Should Texas be it's own country?
dsm911: Seriously?
Me: What's your favorite movie? Documentaries and shows on public television don't count.
dsm911: Basically anything with Tom Cruise in it. Aside from that, I've been really digging Spice World...Scary Spice in those tight outfit's, dayum.
Me: Did we really just have a "dayum?"
dsm911: Another great flick is P.S. I Love You. Since I'm getting married and all, I've been leaving copies of this movie all over the house. I figure since I'm so good at romancing, this would be golden. In addition, a couple guys in that movie were in a band. I've been in a few bands, lead singer and guitar player, so I feel I've got a real connection with those guys. Also, they're Irish and I'm Irish. Sometimes, when I watch the movie, ok, all the time, I just feel like I'm the same person. I'll sing in my Irish voice and drink pints of Guiness. It's like for one moment, even if just briefly, the problems of the the Irish Catholics and Protestants just drift away, ala Dobie Gray. In a small way, I feel like I'm doing my part for the greater good of humanity.
Me: Yeah, I cooked spaghetti last night, had a baguette, a gyro, a bratwurst and some Sangria, I'm such a supporter of the melting pot that is America. It's like I'm one with Ellis Island.
dsm911: So you know exactly how I feel.
Me: No kidding, whoosh.
dsm911: What was that sound?
Me: Not sure, thought I saw something go right over your head.
Well, I've had enough fun for the morning ladies and gentleman. Nothing like an interview with one of our own to make you want to start drinking early. I'd like to close with a link of dsm911 in action from one of his events this year. Thanks for your time dsm911.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-tCUnhp2bo
Monday, December 8, 2008
Jinglecross
Recently went to Jingle Cross with berock in Iowa City. Stayed with his buddy Ethan. Great time. Friday night, berock and I went to the pedmall and tried to get some pizza at the Airliner. This was about 9 and they were gonna charge us $5 cover to order pizza. I'm pretty sure the pizza would have cost about 7 bucks, so we decided to leave. Went to the Atlas to grab a beer and check out the menu. Normally, I like the Atlas, but nothing looked too appealing. Not picky, but when you see what we ended up eating, you'll see why the Atlas did not suffice. Now it's about 10:30 and I wandered into Pizza on Dubuque. They have huge slices of pizza. I grabbed two and noticed this was the first time I've ever been in this place before 2 a.m. It's one of the great post-bar joints.
While debating whether or not to go back to Ethan's (it was about midnight), we felt the need to hit up Panchero's. Always a good decision. Settled in about 1 a.m. or so and got up about 7:30 to race. The Sat. race was sick hard. Of course, berock and I were out pre-riding the course and ended up starting in dead last. Our seeding would have had us in the middle of 57 people, not dead last. In cross racing, this is a huge disadvantage. The race started and we tried to move through people, but it was tough. There was a wipeout on a uphill muddy section that berock's bike skills allowed him to avoid. Me, not so much.
The course was very hard with a huge hill run up, called Mt. Krumpit. There was also an area through a cattlebarn that was filled with sand. Pretty tough to ride through. I did a great job riding through it, except for one time where I flipped over my handlebars. Luckily, I wasn't hurt. When I was asked by a couple observers if I was ok, I inquired into my score for the wipeout. I was given an 8.9. I'll take it. Basically, this whole ride hurt and was tough.
After the race, I went to Fin & Feather and got some knee high wool socks with skulls on them. Pretty badass. Grabbed some food and ended up at Sam's (great Calzone's) for a party. I ended up having a few too many, but made it up bright and early for the race the next morning. Woke up to epic conditions. The course was packed with snow, mud, and awesomeness. Youtube "Jinglecross 2008 crash" and check it out. I'll try and get a few links, but the computer isn't cooperating right now. Anyhow, berock rocked out a top 10 and I improved quite a few places as well. We also started in the middle instead of at the end. Great, great time. I would do this for sure next year, but I'll be getting some exercise in Cozumel!
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