Me: Burrito, what would you say your biggest accomplishment during the race season was?
Burrito: ....crickets...crickets
Me: That's great Burrito, I'm sure you looked good in that one piece. How about you Warrior?
Warrior: I'm gonna have to say racing in front of my law school hero, C-Wealth, as in Kevin from the Commonwealth. He flew in to Boji to watch some hot action and to be able to show my years of fitness for C-Wealth was a dream come true.
Me: Sweet answer Warrior, glad to hear you're enjoying your fish basket this evening. Go easy on the tartar sauce. Burrito, what part of the Okoboji triathlon did you enjoy the best?
Burrito: This wasn't in the Okoboji triathlon, but I really loved it when ColdStone was having the extra 17 pieces of sprinkles special. That really got me going.
Me: Nice, the other day I thought about going to Canada. Warrior, if you could change one thing about your dressing habits, what would it be?
Warrior: Funny you should ask. I've been trying to figure out in what circumstances my eye patch would help me pick up women?
Me: I was actually going to suggest some sit-ups and a haircut, but that's just me.
Warrior: Dude, what kind of interview is this?
Me: Wait your turn. Burrito, what do you think about the Warrior's haircut?
Burrito: Ha, is that's what it's called?
Me: Right on brother, what's your plan for races next season?
Burrito: Um, if I can get up early enough, I'll probably watch the Indy 500, try and catch the runners as they go by in the Boji Tri and check some stuff out on Youtube.
Me: Ambitious, Burrito. Warrior, let's get personal, where are you from?
Warrior: Waterloo.
Me: You actually survived that thing, damn, quite the battle. How old are you anyway?
Warrior: Seriously, I'm starting to think this is a joke, what battle?
Me: Nevermind, if Pat Benetar had a triathlon series called Tri is a Battlefield, would you become a groupie?
Me: Think we lost the Warrior for a sec. Burrito, where are you from?
Burrito: ADM, also known as Dallas Center's little sister. If only the parents had moved a few miles East, what could have been.
Me: Whatever dude.
Me: Back on track, Warrior Tone Loc or the GoGo's?
Warrior: We Got the Beat, We Got the Beat...who's Tone Loc?
Me: No idea either, heard about it on Myspace
Me: Burrito, if you could marry anyone in the world, who would that be?
Burrito: Tough question, I'd say Fanny Mae or Aunt Jemima. She's not literally my Aunt though, that'd be gross and wrong.
Me: Agree dude, that's not how the Boji Tri Team rolls, not the kind that would make Aunt Jemima useful though.
Warrior: Can we talk about what I look like in my wetsuit?
Me: Sure, next time dsm911 beats Burrito in a race, we'll even take video. Warrior, you seem like a pretty good looking guy, once you get a haircut at least, which is why you're such a good addition to the Boji Tri Team. I'd like to thank you for your time today.
Warrior: Thanks, I guess. What the hell's wrong with my haircut.
Me: No kidding, good luck with that. Burrito, fine lookin specimen as well, thanks for your time.
Burrito: Agree completely, how'd dsm911 get on this team?
Me: Glamour shots do amazing things. Thanks for the interview's guys. Till next time.
4 comments:
Could we please get some profile pics to go along with the interviews? Also, does anyone know who made the decision to go forward with the 30th annual Living History Farms Race even though dsm 911 would not be running?
My hair looks good thanks to the fine people at Aveda and I'm from Cedar Falls, thank you very much.
Given my successful appeal, even in the face of the ill-advised interpleader filed by mister to you!, I am once again vindicated and my rights reinstated as to the Boji tri team. I thought the Judge's opinion, particularly his characterization of mister to you! as "vituperative, and seemingly dehydrated," was another victory for those that serve the cause of righteousness.
As to the interview, I felt like I was witnessing the Frost/Nixon interviews first hand, w/o any clever Hollywood editing.
A.W.- I will be up north in December, and will take you to the stylist khalid el amin frequents for game-day stylings. You will be the talk of District 202.
Burrito- the potshots in a nationally syndicated blog don't go unnoticed. Might as well consider those complimentary tix to the hy-vee bake-off expo, complete with back-stage meet and greet and tastings, gone.
Why, why, why did dsm911 not do the race? Has LOVE COMPLETELY TAKEN AWAY HIS FREE WILL?
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