Turtleman Race Report

I think we should have a moment of silence for the apparent break-up of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. Good, glad we got that out of the way.

Last Friday, dsm 911, his lady and I drove up to Shoreview, MN to get ready for the Turtleman Triathlon. The trip was going well until I got off on an exit to get something to eat. I guess in MN, a sign that says food two miles actually means 6 or so. Anyhow, I got some pretty good powerfood. Gas station pizza and garlic cheesebread. We eventually made it to packet pick-up where dsm 911 was sequestered and interrogated regarding whether or not he was an elite.

After packet pick-up, we went to Kate's friend Tammy's place, dropped our stuff off and went to a local pub for some more food/beer. dsm 911 and I split some nachos (more power food) and Bud Selects. I think I may need to scale back on the number of Bud Selects and "power food." Went back to Tammy's around 11:30 or so and tried to go to sleep. I was on a really pretty comfortable couch, but for some reason could not fall asleep. Woke up around 5:25 or so and could tell I drank beers last night. Not the best sign.

Got to the transition and dsm 911 and I had our bikes by each other. We were towards the end of the rack so I laid my towel, shoes, etc. on the grass rather than underneath my bike. I thought I'd give some other people some room, but this ended up giving me a two minute penalty. Awesome occurrence no. 1.

After taking roughly 19 water temp. measurements, they decided the swim was wetsuit legal. I doubt that it really was, because the water was pretty warm. Regardless, I rocked the wetsuit. The swim was either .9 or 1 mile, I've heard both. Also, the swim had a time trial run start. Every three seconds, an athlete ran from the grass, onto the beach and into the water. The water was pretty shallow, so you were running in water for about 10-15 yards. Also, they started the older competitors first, so although the first wave went around 8, I didn't go until around 9:15. Lots of standing around in my wetsuit.

As I was ready to go, these two girls in front of me were talking about the bar exam, etc. I ended up beating them to the water, as I think they were still talking about it after they took off. I started off swimming pretty hard and felt good. I got off course just a bit, but not too bad, I believe. Also, a few hundred yards out, there was a sandbar or something, because the water depth was a couple of feet. A few people in front of me from an earlier wave stopped and started to walk. I was pissed and had to swim around them. At the turn around, I pushed it a little more still feeling pretty good. I eventually made it to where I could feel the ground with my stroke so I stood up, planted my right foot, then my left foot...only my left foot sunk about two feet into the mud. Quickly corrected myself and ran onto the shore and crossed the timing mat for the swim in 24:44, which was a great swim time for me.

After about 10 steps following the timing mat, all of a sudden I felt like I was going to throw up. I slowed way down and then realized I was going to throw up. Luckily, I had a Scheels plastic bag in my "illegal" transition spot. I grabbed it, stuck my head inside and started dry heaving. I continued to dry heave for about a minute and a half. As soon as I got done, I still had my wetsuit on. I felt absolutly terrible. Some guy in my transition area was just staring at me. I stopped my watch, saw a volunteer and started to walk towards him to tell him I was done. I've never quit a race before, but felt terrible. I must have over heated or something, at least that's the only possible thing I can think of. Not power food and beer. Then, I decided that I had come this far, I've never quit before (in a race, some workouts I've decided that it sucked and walked home) and more people needed to view the Speedo. (Awesome occurrence no. 2. We were required to wear a shirt of some sort, so I rocked the boji tri team shirt with my speedo, instead of just the speedo. I also debuted my new headband.) Check out the link, I am no. 389 in the run. That's pic. no. 389, not race number.

http://www.competitiveimage.us/tri/Turt08-R/index.html

So, off I went on my bike, still feeling like hot garbage, or at least what hot garbage would feel like if it had feeling. Thankfully, I started to feel a bit better about three miles into the ride. Also, since I started so late, I was passing a ton of people. I only got passed by two guys, but didn't pass too many in my age group, since most of the fast people started the swim earlier than me. I do need to get a bike tuneup, as my gears aren't shifting right, which is a pain. The course was fairly flat, which I don't mind, but would rather have some hills, since I think they play to my advantage. I ended up averaging 22.3 mph for the 21 mile course. I'll take it considering the day. I also have no idea how I didn't drill one of the cones on a sharp turn. I was coming in way too hot.

The bike to run transition went ok, much better than my terrible, terrible swim to bike transition time. I guess dry heaving isn't a recommended transition activity. To be honest, I had no idea whether the run was 4.8 miles, 5 miles, 5.2 miles, etc. Not that it mattered to much, but it ended up being 5.1. I probably could have run a little harder, but averaged 7:32/mile. The run itself was pretty uneventful, with the exception of the guy that sprayed me with his water hose, lord that can sound kind of bad. Anyways, it started to get a bit hot, and that felt great.

Overall, I ended up 10th in my age group pre-penalty and 13th post penalty. I also had the great distinction of being the only one in my age group with a penalty. Yes, I'm that cool. After the race, I felt fine for a bit, then terrible again. I felt bad enough that I couldn't even stand in line for the fee hot dogs. Not good. After meeting up with dsm 911, we went back, showered, grabbed deliciously greasy burgers and headed back to Des Moines. I then went to Sweet Corn Fest with burrito and some of his boys.

Overall, the triathlon was a great time. I would do this event again, hopefully feel a bit better. Great trip. Also, this was my fourth race of some sort in four weekends. I've got this weekend off and then the next weekend is a sprint near Ames.

I also went to the fair, consumed 17 thousand calories, dunked the trash talking clown who kept calling me a substitute gym teacher, rode the ridiculous $25 dollar slingshot bungi ride that throws you way up in the air and took pictures of the 3,000 pound cow and large pig.